Thursday, December 9, 2010

Reality Bites

So Eli has been kind of a jackass lately, what with the moaning and wailing and general refusal to sleep.  We thought it was just him being a toddler and feeling the stress of three straight days of heavy snowfall.  And then he was sitting on my lap, being tickled, and he hung back just so, allowing me a long, well-lit look of his upper gums and... yeah.  

Huh.  What do you know, he's NOT just being an asshole for the hell of it.  It seems that he has good reason for his general crustiness.  Or, as further examination revealed, several reasons.

I've made a helpful little diagram to illustrate:

 A. Two bottom front teeth, aka the current tenants.  These bad boys erupted several months ago and have ruled the roost ever since.

B. Right lower lateral incisor.  Slower to appear than the other newbies but quickly gaining ground.  There's no sign of the left lower l.i., so he's already looking crooked even before you take into account...

C. Okay, it's hard to tell from my less than impressive Paint skillz, but this is actually the LEFT upper central incisor or left upper front tooth, which is just barely poking through.  The other upper c.i.?  A complete no-show.  So this bad boy is looking to dominate the upper front area and give Eli the illusion of having one upper front tooth in the center of his mouth.  We call the tooth Tom, as in Cruise.

D. Left upper lateral incisor.  So not only does this child have only one upper front tooth coming in, the tooth NEXT to it is coming in as well, bring even more attention to the lopsidedness.  I like to call this tooth Katie Holmes.

E.  Big ol' gaps where teeth should be.  And may be soon.  But right now, these spots are making Eli's mouth look a bit like a mis-aligned slot-machine.

So yeah... right now he's pretty much a big bag of cranky but I guess it's better to get it over with all at once.

And if all else fails, we have plenty of whiskey.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Right, so... it's been, what? A month since I last posted?  And I know, I KNOW, November was some sort of blog every day month or something and still.  Still, I wrote nothing.  The irony, it kills me dead.

What's actually happened is that Eli has taken notice of all things computer and declared the laptop to be super cool and irresistible and just plain face-melting-ly awesome.  At least that's what I assume he's trying to convey as he gleefully Vulcan death grips random keys and initiates a symphony of beeps and blurts that can only be translated as DANGER DANGER SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMPUTERS ARE NOT TOYS ACTION STATIONS ACTION STATIONS etc.

So I can't exactly bring the thing out during the day without taking some serious evasive maneuvers and tuning out the incessant bleating of a spurned toddler.  I guess I could theoretically try to do it when he's napping.  Oh, but napping (and sleeping independently at any time of day, really) continues to be an issue and so I'm usually either stuck on a couch or bed with him, laptop out of reach, or ever so caaaarefulllly prying myself away for ten minutes to do self-indulgent things like shower or watch True Blood.

(I also unload the dishwasher which is a current close second on the list of household appliances and/or electronics that have stolen my son's heart.  The vacuum was sadly and rather suddenly dethroned about a month back when Eli suddenly decided that while it's still fun to play with when it's off, the thing is altogether too noisy and upsetting when it's on.)

That leaves me with blogging after he's gone to sleep at night but I find that by the end of the day I'm just so freaking tired and instead of writing an entry, I watch TV or surf around on my iPhone because I'm too lazy to bring out the laptop.

All of this is by way of saying that I'll try to do better.  I promise.  Even if I sometime just plaster a bunch of baby pictures up and call it good enough.